I was not in the best of moods today. I felt gloomy and under the weather to say the least. What does this have to do with me drawing? I'll tell you.
I currently decided to drop out of a college I was not happy in. I was taking office administration and was unhappy every second I went to school. I remember spending most of my time in the back of the classroom, drawing, not really having any motivation to learn about typing or how to make an expense form. That really got me thinking why am I getting in debt for a job that I won't be happy in? where I would spend my days behind a desk, answering phones and making appointments? so I dropped out.
Dropping out was a tough decision for me because I don't like feeling like I failed something and gave up. I'm a pretty determined person and I usually like to stick with something until it's done. But the school sucked to say the least and although I met a lot of people who were awesome, there was a lot of trash there as well. So I dropped out.
This has gotten me in a midlife crisis sort of state where I am not sure where I am going in life. I always set up goals and paths for me to make in life, this is the first time everything is cloudy for me. I'm not sure which way I am going. Currently the only thing I know is I will spend the year working off debt and then work on getting a TESL certificate to teach english. Then what? I am still unsure.
So, having more freetime now, I decided to work at my drawing, something I always wanted to do. I started since I dropped out and my art has been improving already. I can feel that creative energy flow back into me.
Feeling gloomy and moody today made me think of the Edgar Allan Poe poem called alone. I always loved that poem since I was young as well as the poet himself. So I decided to pay tribute to the gloomy, creative writer and draw a picture of him. I was never good at drawing men or working with shadows so I was happy with the results.
